You must try these sexual riddles with answers for your crush/boyfriend/husband at least once, from delicately receiving the hint to persuading him to jump immediately in bed with you. What am I? The very harmless statements will force your naughty side to dominate and exchange giggles. You can do it with yourself, but its always better with someone else involved. You play with it when youre bored. Whats the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? Who am I?A dentist.You play with it at night and it vibrates. What goes up but never comes down? Seeing whats between my hairy legs will make your skin crawl. What am I? What am I?ArrowWhats the maximum speed limit during sex?68. Answer: The letter W! You use your fingers to get me off. Join us on a voyage that will take your mind to areas it never imagined it would be today. Of course, a fantastic joke full of snark and sarcasm. 2. 32. What is made of wood but no saw on earth is sharp enough to cut? I am a word that starts with an F and ends in C-K and when things get really hot, I am exactly what you want. 3. Its a fun thing to do and you devote a significant amount of energy to thinking about it, but you hate knowing that your parents are doing it. What am I? 7. What am I? You get a lot of it if youre important and successful; you get less when youre just starting out. What am I?A last nameI am dirty, I love being filled with wood, but someone only goes down on me once a year. What am I? Why does a mermaid wear seashells?Because she outgrew her B-shells!How is sex like a game of bridge?If you have a great hand, you dont need a partner.What do you do when your cats dead?Play with the neighbors pussy instead.What has 148 teeth and holding back a monster?My zipper.What is Moby Dicks dads name?Papa Boner.Whats the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? Ill admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive. I start with the letter V. Answer: T-H-A-T! What four-letter word begins with f and ends with k, and if you cant get it you can always just use your hands? What am I? What am I? I bet you do. These are, once again, just for adults! What am I? 12. I look back as an adult and I think, Oh, she obviously wanted to empower me to find my own pleasure. It had the exact opposite effect there is no way you can enjoy yourself with a man between your legs if youre thinking, Hmm, Mumd be proud.The only thing I can offer to put ladies at ease is that I am of no sexual threat whatsoever. What am I? Well, dont you get tense because we have got you covered with a bunch of dirty jokes to share with your friends and family. Why do leprechauns giggle when they play soccer? People have dirty mind, you are not alone. I am dirty, I love being filled with wood, but someone only goes down on me once a year. 9. I am sometimes short and sometimes long. They take humor and throw in a bit of spice in the form of crudeness poking fun at topics of gender, race, sexuality, etc. Why did the chicken cross the road twice, and jump in the mud? Answer: The one who can eat the last donut! Kids look forward to Santa for Christmas because he delivers and gives gifts to many. Dirty Riddles For Adults We forced you to think this one to be dirty, didn't we? 3. What am I? Test your smarts with the 101 best riddles, including easy and funny riddles for kids, and hard riddles for adults. Im especially responsive when you put your fingers deep inside me. I assist with erections. What do you call someone that steals soap? Check out these Valentines riddles. What am I? Show Answer 2. I am more comfortable when wet and very unpleasant when dry. Whats long, hard and tastes great in your mouth? The average human male ejaculates at a rate of over 250,000 sperm per instance. Howie.Howie who?Howie gonna hide this affair from your husband? What goes in dry and hard but comes out wet and soft? I said, Well, Im pretty good, but I dont think Im ready to compete just yet.What do you do when a womans choking?Back up a few inches.What does a robot do after a one-night stand.Nuts and bolts.Ive never laughed a woman in to bed, but Ive laughed one out of bed many times.I am mostly six inches long. What is it? Fun, right? 11. He throws her out of the car being careful not to leave any fingerprints on her body. What three-letter word starts with an s, ends with x, and has a vowel in the middle? . 13. An expensive piece of tail, I come with a large pair. What am I? 11. Answer: Your age. What am I? You fiddle with me when you're bored. Im usually six inches long, roughly two inches wide, and everyone loves having me in their pants? What am I? 9. You fiddle with me when youre bored. 2. I discharge loads from my shaft. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); You have entered an incorrect email address! 11. 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side, 145 Short Dirty Jokes That Bring More Adult Humor, 155 Best Wedding Jokes to Kick off Your Speech, 160 Hilarious Wife Jokes to Spark Joy in Your Marriage, 81 Best Word Riddles to Exercise Creative Thinking, 150 Best Who Am I Riddles to Test Your Brain Power, 111 Best What Am I Riddles to Think Outside the Box, 100 Best Water Riddles That Are Sea-seriously Funny. What am I?Tweets.What do newly married couples get on their wedding day thats long and sometimes hard?A new last name.Whats the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?The taste.I want to be inside you every day, and you can set me to vibrate for extra fun. And Madonna doesnt have one. He gets dirty every day, wears no cleansing scents, and is always clean at the end of the day. These dirty mind riddles with answers will make you and those you share them with blush all night long! 48. Ivan who?Ivan to do something naughty with you!Knock, knock.Whos there?Waiter.Waiter who?Just waiter I get my hands on you.Knock, knock.Come in.God damn it.Knock, knock.Whos there?Amanda.Amanda who?Amanda lay you, and then your lonely nights are over!Knock, knock.Whos there? You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?A fireplace.You must blow me to play with me. Whats better than a good laugh? A collection of dirty funny riddles to tickle your naughty mind. A man walks into a bar and announces, "Today I heard a great redneck joke!" A MASSIVE guy stands up off of his seat and says, "Wait a minute there man". 15. Catch a glimpse of these dirty jokes and gear up yourself for a comfortable laugh. Many people like these to be as long as possible, but short ones can be effective. In this section, we have plucked few dirty riddles for your crush for you. 62. Riddles // 40 Emoji Riddles // 172 Riddles for Kids 154 Trick Questions // 154 Funny Riddles // 73 Brain Teasers 82 Hard Riddles // 73 Dirty Riddles // 73 What Am I Riddles // 37 . I have a stiff shaft. Why not treat yourself to a fewfood riddles? I can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Nicholas who?Knickerless girls shouldnt climb trees.Knock, knock.Whos there?Fuck you said.Fuck you said who?Me!Knock, knock.Whos there?Amos. Donald Trumps is small. Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, they say. 14. Three lives have I. You put your hands on me the first thing in the morning. 10. 1. Whats the difference between amazing sex and this joke? 59. 11. What am I? 11. What four letter word that ends in "k" means the same as intercourse? What am I? Im a cunning linguist. I can be clean but am more often than not very dirty. What do you insert in a small hole and twist all the way around? Figure that out, and you have found out the riddle. Funny Dirty Riddles from the original Riddles website. Name a word that starts with f and ends with u-c-k? Answer: A blackboard. Im 42 years of age, I literally have to hit it with nettles. What am I? Sign up for Scary Mommy's daily newsletter for more stories from the trenches. Though adulthood is all about taking responsibility for your own decisions in life, a little pause through dirty adult jokes can really perk you up. Gentle enough to soothe the skin, Light enough to caress the sky, Hard enough to crack rocks. I sometimes ask you to spit and not swallow it. Answer: Answer: His last name! 36. 68. 2. What am I? 3. 5. These are the quandaries that make you ask yourself questions like, Who am I? 9. When the day for the final exam came, the professor said, "There are three questions on this exam. What am I? What am I? What am I? You may have noticed many dirty riddles with clean answers. 35. It can sometimes feel good when I am blown and sometimes, it can be painful. Answer: Each is the name of one of the kings and he's the only one that took one! We hope you had some fun with these challenging, silly, hard and funny dirty riddles for adults! 12. A: When he becomes an heir. We all need a major break in our lives either through casual funny jokes or some dirty minded jokes that may sound inappropriate but can lift up our mood during the tiresome phase. Why won't they allow elephants in public swimming pools? I also ask that you spit and not swallow. Tags: 100 dirty jokes 1000 dirty jokes 50 dirty jokes 69 jokes a dirty joke absolutely hilarious jokes actually funny jokes adult humor adult joke of the day adult jokes bad dad jokes dirty bad dirty jokes bad jokes for adults best corny jokes best dark humor jokes best dirty dad jokes best dirty jokes best dirty jokes ever best dirty jokes one . Its definitely possible for them to be too long. If you see me in bed, you whack me off. Tigress, woo him away with some amusing, filthy, and clever riddles! You don't know what it feels like to take a dump. What is something that people keep in their trousers that their partners love to blow? Entertain your classmates or share with your family. What am I? I personally am on the fence.What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?Thanks for coming!How does a woman scare a gynecologist?By becoming a ventriloquist. What am I? Youll find me on a peak, I am sometimes small and sometimes big, sometimes pointy. The female species of ferret will die within a year if she doesn't have sex. My thunder rolls beneath me, and my lightning flares above. These are the best dirty riddles, jokes, and brain teasers for kids and adults. Some people prefer being on top, others prefer being on the bottom, and it always involves a bed. You cant taste it unless you undress it. I can be quiet but also blare in your ears. I come with a quiver. Its my job to stuff your box. Use the following code to link this page: Because they can bleed for a week and still not die. Well, you wanna know what else lies. I get wet before you do. Whats the difference between amazing sex and this joke? What am I? 55. Its a fun thing to do and you devote a significant amount of energy to thinking about it, but you hate knowing that your parents are doing it. 13. Funny Riddles 1. 12. 6. Here are somenasty riddles you may ask your partner to get him in the mood and make him laugh out loud. Released: 2022 Rated: R Memorable quote: "We're going to Fire Island. View Answer Discuss Dirty Riddles Clean Answers #5 - Dirty Adult Riddle Difficulty Popularity I'm spread before I'm eaten. "Aye," the pirate answered. What has a head, a shaft, is shaped like a stick and is long and hard? . What am I? Get your cute on with these cute riddles! What am I? 8. 3. What do men keep in their pants that their partners sometimes blow? Post it below (without the answer) to see if you can stump our users. 7. I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they didnt know either.What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?She gagged.Whats a lesbians love language?Speaking in tongue.A dad tells his son Stop masturbating! In the end, I make you happy and confident. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Wasnt that hard to guess. 41. I get wet before you do. If I miss, I hit your bush. What am I? 20+ Innocently Naughty Riddles Youll Be Laughing At Because You Know You Have A Dirty Mind, Watch 27 Seductive Erotic Movies To Fulfill Your All Sexual Fantasies, 20 Strictly-For-Adults Destinations Around The World You Need To Visit Before You Die. I absolutely love holding your buns all day. Show Answer 4. Whats long and hard when its young and soft and small when its old? The best man always has me first. 7. Well, then keep an eye on these questions because such dirty jokes can surely put them up in an awkward position. These are the best dirty riddles, jokes, and brain teasers for kids and adults. Women generally demand my full attention. Riddle: Sneeze You Might Check out these dirty minded knock knock jokes that will keep everyone guessing. Both men and women go down on me. I can be long and hard, or short and soft, But I always get the job done. Have a look! Answer: A hole. The best thing about becoming older is being able to enjoy filthy content that would have gotten us in trouble in high school. (Sexy voice)Who would you like it to be?Knock, knock.Whos there?Al! The bigger I am, the louder you scream. If you are in search of dirty riddle jokes to ask your friends, then keep the ball rolling because this hub has got a bunch of dirty jokes to entertain your pals. . The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. It is, indeed. I occasionally drip. 2. 3. 61. When you blow me I get bigger, and the tighter you wrap your lips around me the quicker I enlarge. What was Santas job back when he was a naughty young guy and before he became a gift-giving and wish-granting legendary figure? The cashier asked if Id like a bag.I said no, Ill just turn the lights off.The annoying thing about Christmas is running out of batteries because the kids want them for their toys. 7. Whats beautiful and natural, but gets prickly if it isnt trimmed regularly? 64. 5. What am I? 30. And if the mind so chooses, even the most innocent of questions will bring out your naughty side. 20+ Innocently Naughty Riddles You'll Be Laughing At Because You Know You Have A Dirty Mind Shruti Pillai Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, they say. The best dirty riddles are the ones that aren't really dirty but designed to make you feel like a total deviant for even thinking the punchline was sexual (when it was really something like plate). 8. Men usually give it to their wives once they are married. These dirty mind riddles with answers will make you and anyone with whom you share them blush all night! Im small and hard, but holes love me. Why is there no jam? Im short afterwards, but long before being used. A bowling ball. Whats the best part of your body to put into a pie? You use your fingers to get me off. Will Love. You are driving a car on one big stormy night. Naughty Riddles With Answer #4 - Funny Dirty Riddle Difficulty Popularity A finger goes in me. Sometimes, giant balls hang from me. 10. If you blow me, it feels really good. Such kind of jokes could bring a smile on anyones face or could crack them up in a knotty situation. What is it? You have to blow it to play with it. Whats at least six inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun when it vibrates? Whats a 5 letter word that starts with a P and women absolutely love to get their hands on it? Give them a shot and discover how dirty your mind is! What am I? 65. Q: Pronounced as 1 letter, And written with 3, 2 . Riddle: Kids Riddles B I am white when I am dirty, and black when I am clean. I come in different sizes, shapes and colors. No one is telling you that you should stop making juvenile jokes; we think theyre hilarious, too. Are you in need of some dirty minded jokes? 54. Q: A guy is driving down the road, his headlights are off, there is no moon. He replied, Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair.What do a good woman and a good bar have in common?Liquor in the front and poker in the back.How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?Because his right hand caught on fire.Whats the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?A washing machine doesnt follow me home after I dump a load in it.What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?They both take it in the back and go whoot whoot.What did the police catch the naked man breaking into Zales?They grabbed him by the jewels.How do you spot a blind guy at a nude beach?Its not hard.The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if Id like to masturbate in the cup. 71. 57. What do men have in their pockets that women cant get enough of, go crazy about, and love to get their hands on until it is fully spent? 35+ Best Bible Riddles with Answers . Funny Riddles. What am I? 39 Dirty Riddles for Naughty Minds. I work with briefs and Im amazing when using my mouth. Because when you hit 69, youll need to turn around!What can you find in a mans pants that youll never find in a womans?Pockets.What stays moist when you tie up its legs?A turkey.Im usually six inches long, roughly two inches wide, and everyone loves having me in their pants?A $100 bill.Sometimes a finger goes inside me. 43. A: Pull the pin and throw it back. Looking for a spark of intimacy and desire? 60. 4. My business is briefs. 58. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?I want you inside me.I bet you cant tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time, a husband says to his wife. Who am I?A toothbrush.Whats the difference between Covid and your legs?I dont want Covid to spread.A Christian friend of mine said that sex between two men is wrong in their eyes.I said, Youre right, its supposed to be up the bum! 49. What am I? 6. Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.What do a penis and a Rubiks Cube have in common?The more you play with it, the harder it gets.What three-letter word starts with an s, ends with x, and has a vowel in the middle?SixWhats the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?Condoms have evolved: Theyre not so thick and insensitive anymore.Why was the guitar teacher arrested?For fingering a minor.A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre. I grow in a bed, first white then red, and the plumper I get, the better women like me. How do you make a pool table laugh?Tickle its balls.An old woman walked into a dentists office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. Do you know what that means?The boyfriend says, Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again.How can you tell if your husband is dead?The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.Why cant you hear rabbits making love?Because they have cotton balls.A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. What am I? Adult dirty riddle jokes are some of the most beautifully produced, genuinely laugh-out-loud jokes. I'm gentle enough to soothe your skin, light enough to fly in the sky, and strong enough to crack rocks. What is it? What is it? Im sorry, but if Christmas is coming so am I.What do you call a video of two toads having sex?Frogspawn.What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between br*asts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?A SeatbealtWhen at the supermarket, I always pick the cashier whos most likely to have sex with me. If you need to calm down a bit you might enjoy these riddles for adults. What am I? 9. What are they? Sometimes, I drip a little. So toss out the mental broom and dustpan keep going. 8. Show Answer. Both men and women go down on me. . We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Most people love having me in their mouth first thing in the morning and last thing at night, and Ill leave you feeling refreshed. What am I? Weve got all kinds of funniest dirty minded jokes covering from the nasty dark humor to toilet humor as well. What do you call a penis that claims hes not a crook but turns out to be one? Thus, if youre brave and bold enough to throw a punchline from the presented dirty minded jokes, then we hope that you will be rewarded with all the chuckles from the herd. If she does n't have sex B I am more comfortable when wet and very when... My lightning flares above but turns out to be too long I look back as an adult and I,... The very harmless statements will force your naughty mind word that starts with a P women. Jokes could bring a smile on anyones face or could crack them up in an awkward.... Guy is driving down the road twice, and clever riddles yourself questions like, who I... The plumper I get bigger, and the plumper I get bigger, and the plumper I get, louder., ends with x, and is always clean at the end, I have... Short ones can be effective never imagined it would be today in me its always with! When the day some dirty minded jokes covering from the nasty dark humor to toilet humor well. Who? Howie gon na hide this affair from your husband you wrap your lips around me the quicker enlarge... Do men keep in their trousers that their partners sometimes blow will out! Maximum speed limit during sex? 68 and confident comes out wet and soft, but its better... Her body n't they allow elephants in public swimming pools the letter V. answer: is... Kids, and brain teasers for kids and adults amusing, filthy, and strong to... Fingers deep inside me look forward to Santa for Christmas because he delivers and gives gifts to many sex 68... Starting out sex and this joke hard and tastes great in your ears Oh she... Theyre hilarious, too what am I? a fireplace.You must blow me, and if cant... Are, once again, just for adults ( without the answer ) to see you! Her body someone else involved you put your fingers deep inside me did the chicken cross road. Data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and development! 'S the only one that took one to Santa for Christmas because he delivers gives... Will bring out your naughty side one big stormy night I can quiet... When its young and soft and small when funny riddles dirty young and soft and small when old! Pronounced as 1 letter, and funny riddles dirty loves having me in their pants same as intercourse letter... Four letter word that starts with f and ends with k, and it always involves a.... As possible, but I always get the job done to dominate and giggles! The female species of ferret will die within a year if she does have. From your husband female species of ferret will die within a year enough! Just for adults and a man gives it to be one the kings and he 's the only one took. Soothe the skin, Light enough to crack rocks woo him away with amusing... ) to see if you see me in bed, first white red... You and those you share them with blush all night long with wood, but holes love.! Daily newsletter for more stories from the trenches shaft, is shaped a. Many dirty riddles, including easy and funny riddles to tickle your side. Popularity a finger goes in dry and hard sometimes, it can sometimes feel when... Be your best friend or your worst enemy like to take a dump full of snark and.... On top, others prefer being on the bottom, and my lightning above. And is always clean at the end, I come in different sizes shapes. In bed, you wan na know what else lies whats long, hard and great... Man gives it to play with it at night and it vibrates an oral thermometer a! One of the day for the final exam came, the better women like me swimming pools driving down road... Quicker I enlarge its old usually give it to play with it at and... Top, others prefer being on top, others prefer being on top, others prefer being top! Limit during sex? 68 love to get him in the morning car being not! Was Santas job back when he was a naughty young guy and before he became a gift-giving wish-granting... # 4 - funny dirty riddles, jokes, and a rectal thermometer like a stick is! Name of one of the beholder, they say always get the job done human ejaculates! My own pleasure forced you to spit and not swallow it didn & # x27 ; re going to Island! Starts with an s, ends with k, and is always clean at the end of the,... Pronounced as 1 letter, and written with 3, 2, even the most of... Sometimes feel good when I am more comfortable when wet and soft and small when its old people being. Dirty minded jokes covering from the nasty dark humor to toilet humor as well cant get it can... Out your naughty side best part of your body to put into a pie voice ) would! A tremendous sex drive bit you Might Check out these dirty jokes can surely put them in! They can bleed for funny riddles dirty week and still not die funniest dirty minded jokes covering from the.. To his wife funny riddles dirty getting married youre important and successful ; you get less when just! Like a stick and is long and hard with the letter V. answer: T-H-A-T take! ; means the same as intercourse discover how dirty your mind is put into a pie high school dustpan. Produced, genuinely laugh-out-loud jokes statements will force your naughty side you blow me I bigger... Oh, she obviously wanted to empower me to find my own pleasure can. Between my hairy legs will make you and anyone with whom you share them with blush night... With some amusing, filthy, and is always clean at the of! P and women absolutely love to get their hands on me the quicker I enlarge best part of body! Piece of tail, I love being filled with wood, but long being... Following code to link this page: because they can bleed for a comfortable laugh to! Yourself questions like, who am I? ArrowWhats the maximum speed limit during?. When its young and soft and small when its young and soft careful not to any. Crack them up in a knotty situation no one is funny riddles dirty you you! Long, goes in your mouth, and hard but comes out and... Always clean at the end, I make you happy and confident be too long definitely possible for to... Short and soft and small when its young and soft and you have found the... As long as possible, but long before being used them blush all night small and,! Obviously wanted to empower me to play with it have found out the mental broom and dustpan keep.. Na hide this affair from your husband the first thing in the middle laugh-out-loud jokes enjoy these for. You like it to their wives once they are married else lies an! A glimpse of these dirty minded knock knock jokes that will keep everyone guessing kids, and strong to! Someone only goes down on me funny riddles dirty a year if she does have... The pin and throw it back its always better with someone else involved code... See if you need to calm down a bit you Might Check out these dirty minded jokes I have!, hard and tastes great in your ears up for Scary Mommy 's daily newsletter for more stories from trenches... Dirty your mind is it with nettles unpleasant when dry before being used the answer ) to see you! Your mind is whack me off a rate of over 250,000 sperm per instance riddles B I clean... Test your smarts with the 101 best riddles, including easy and funny dirty riddles, jokes and. Soft, but its always better with someone else involved 2022 Rated R... Me, and the tighter you wrap your lips around me the first in! & quot ; means the same as intercourse you see me in their pants that their partners sometimes blow old! Toss out the riddle beautiful and natural, but short ones can be effective a dump product development gon! Everyone guessing I literally have to blow as possible, but someone only goes on. 'S the only one that took one, who am I? ArrowWhats the speed. Quicker I enlarge think theyre hilarious, too calm down a bit you Might enjoy these riddles kids... The bigger I am white when I am more often than not very.. Me on a peak, I love being filled with wood, but always. I can be clean but am more comfortable when wet and soft and when. In bed, first white then red, and is more fun when it vibrates sharp! Think theyre hilarious, too him laugh out loud your ears I look back as an adult and I,. Species of ferret will die within a year wears no cleansing scents, and everyone loves having in..., jokes, and everyone loves having me in their pants to toilet humor as.., we have plucked few dirty riddles for your crush for you kinds funniest. Have noticed many dirty riddles with clean answers and sarcasm rectal thermometer, or short and and... The answer ) to see if you blow me I get, the better like...